A trip of self-discovery through Finland

A dream full of tears, fears and discomfort that became the best experience of my life. The trip helped me grow and made my Erasmus the best experience of my life.

Read on to find out everything you need to know about my trip to Finland.

By Vanessa Ferraz @vanessaandmiguel

Since I started college, I’ve always thought about doing Erasmus. If they asked me why, I couldn’t answer, I felt something inside me, a desire to go into the unknown. 

It was nothing new for me, because I was born on a small island in Portugal, and moved to the city of Porto to attend college. I’ve always loved adventure and travel, but the process is never as easy as it seems.

So, there I was in college, in the last year of the course, in front of a class of 30 people, the course director asked who would be interested in doing a 3-month exchange abroad. We had 2 options: Finland or London. Only 10 showed interest, most went to London and only me and another colleague decided to go to Finland.

After some meetings and paperwork, we were both accepted to do Erasmus in Finland. At the time, we weren’t friends, we just knew of each other’s existence, and we had never talked.

Those who have already done Erasmus know that it is a delicate process, so add a pinch of stress, fears and anxieties.

It was the first time that I was going to travel so far alone, and I was going with a colleague with whom I had never had a conversation of more than 5 minutes and I felt that some people around me did little to squash any doubt and scared me even more asking me:

• “Why did you choose such a distant destination? London was closer.”
• “Finland has very few hours of daylight, it’s very cold, maybe they don’t even speak English well, won’t you feel depressed there?”
• “What if I don’t like your colleague?”
• “Why don’t you go to London? Most of your classmates go there.”
• “And if you don’t adapt to the country?”
• “What if something happens?”

You know that feeling of really wanting something, but feeling like you’re a little lost? I felt that, but I felt an even greater urge to go. I had to go or I would regret it forever.

The big day arrived, we said goodbye to our family and friends and left for Helsinki, with final destination Turku, which would be our home for 3 months.

Completely out of our comfort zone, we land in a cold, dark country with another language and continue our journey to our final destination. When we arrived at our student residence, we discovered that we were placed in different buildings which left us worried and frustrated, with that feeling that, this is not going well… and despite several requests to the management, nothing was done. We would have to accept it, we had no choice.

After a brief first contact with our new housemates, we went to rest, it was a long day and the next day would be to explore and get to know this country.

The next morning I woke up with my cell phone, it was my mother with news my grandmother had passed away. I felt empty and lost. It was one of the saddest moments of my life.

I didn’t say goodbye the way I wanted to, I was too far away to support my family and no one could give me a hug because I was miles away from them. Why now? Why me?

I want to believe that there are times in life, that the universe wants to tell us something, maybe it’s just me romanticizing life, but there’s something mysterious and beautiful and I believe in that.

I feel like my grandmother waited for me to arrive in Finland so that she could leave. 

I like to think that she was with me, protected me and gave me strength and light for this adventure that became a journey of self-discovery.

I was devastated, I could have returned to Portugal, but I didn’t. I had to take this opportunity.

The days passed and between walks, parties and long hours of work, my colleague and I spent most of our time together. It was 3 months of sharing adventures, joy, laughter, sadness, encouragement and growth. 

Just when we thought it might have gone wrong, it turned out to be amazing! We went from mere strangers to friends. It only took us 3 months to create a bond so much more beautiful than any other friendship I’ve built in 4 years of college. We were in the same class and barely talked to each other. We had to go to another country to become friends. Sometimes life is weird, isn’t it? 

One day we had the opportunity to do a tour through Lapland. I loved the concept, the script and the idea of being able to see the Northern Lights… what a dream! I just didn’t like the price and that we had to make such a long trip. Fear and discomfort were making the decision difficult.

After much thought, the decision was made, we weren’t going, both of our housemates said it wasn’t the best time, we wouldn’t be able to see the Northern Lights, it was too late and maybe too expensive.

• “Wait, we don’t know if we are going back to this country, we don’t know what tomorrow will be like and despite what others say, it’s their experience, not ours” – said my colleague.

And she was right, you only live once. We have to fight for ourselves and for what we believe. So off we went. And I can tell you how magical it was!

We were lucky enough to get to know the Finnish people better, make new friends, visit Santa Claus, try sauna, dive into the arctic ocean, visit and ride a sleigh pulled by reindeer and the best and most special memory of all, we were able to see the Northern Lights.

In our pajamas, lying in our room watching a movie, we hear screams from others in the hallway. The Northern Lights! We were so excited that it didn’t take too long to put on our boots, coat and hat and run down the hall in search of the exit to see the show.

There we were, out of breath and thrilled to observe a true show of colors in the skies. It felt surreal.

It was then that I heard a voice inside me.

• “Always follow your dreams and don’t listen to what others say. It’s your life, so be the main character.”

Before this trip I was a very shy, fearful, fragile person who gave more importance to the opinion of others than my own. Others had a lot of power over me. 

And even though I still struggle with it, I say with great pride that I’ve grown a lot and I’m not the same person I was. I think this is the power of traveling!

A beautiful country, with such a rich culture, a people who, despite living in such a cold and dark country, have the ability to warm our hearts, a journey that could have gone wrong, too many fears and doubts, which contributed to one of the most beautiful and special journeys of my life. And what was once just a colleague, became one of the most special friendships that I take for life.

This is a reminder for those who are afraid to travel. Just go, with or without company.

Follow your heart, the world is too big and beautiful to be wasted.

Traveling enriches us. It is a journey of self-discovery, learning and celebration of life.

For those who have doubts and fears like I did before, this is a sign to follow your dream. The universe will take care of the rest.