By Fazilat @fazilatmubeen 

If you are holding a grudge, you may think that it’s not affecting you. However, the reality is that it can significantly affect not only your mental but also your physical health. It can be difficult to move on from the hurt and anger, but nurturing all those feelings can affect your relationships with others and your mental and emotional well-being. I want to share my experience with you, how it can damage you and how you can cope with it. 

Since starting my professional career, I was fortunate enough to work at some prestigious institutes. Overall, I had great experiences which I cherish to date. However, I faced some bad incidents that led to some uneventful situations, even though I didn’t do anything wrong. It hurt me for years and triggered all negative emotions, like anger, frustration, and demotivation. 

Holding on to those was certainly a burden that weighed me down, and I felt like I was serving a life sentence.

The burden of holding grudges is harmful to our body, mind and soul:

Grudges burden us emotionally just like heavyweights burden us physically. In fact, physically burdened people only miss the opportunity to enjoy their surroundings, but emotionally burdened people can’t enjoy anything during their life journey. I felt the same, my life got crushed by negativity and misery and I found it the heaviest thing to hold.

It’s understandable to feel hurt and angry for a moment when someone has wronged you but not processing it will cause significant damage both physically and emotionally. I kept running away from grudges and hurtful feelings but clearly, it wasn’t a healthy option at all. I asked myself, is it worth it to hold onto these feelings? Or is it justifiable for which I am willing to sacrifice my happiness and peace of mind? I realized it’s important to acknowledge my feelings, process them, and try to let them go in a healthy way.

• When grudges are nestled into your being, they can cause various health issues, like high blood pressure, cognitive decline, headaches, gastrointestinal distress, sleep deprivation and many other medical problems.
• The common culprits behind anxiety, depression and increased stress levels are often grudges. These grudges ensnare you in anger and hinder you from moving forward in your life. You feel trapped in the past, and as a result, you become distressed.
• Holding a grudge is slowly poisoning your soul. Hatred and anger caused by those grudges will damage you spiritually.

Don’t be a prisoner of your past:

I heard this saying many times, but never thought about how grudges were holding me back from living in the present and enjoying the moment. By feeling angry about negative experiences, mistakes, and failures I let my past control my present and future. These grudges become a prison wall for me where I was spending a life sentence. 

Nobody should let their present be like their past, instead, they should learn from it, move forward, and focus on creating a positive future. It’s easy to get tangled in negative thoughts, guilt, or regret about things that happened in the past. However, constantly dwelling on the past can prevent you from making progress and achieving your goals. It is crucial to recognize that your past experiences have helped shape who you are today and to use them as a learning opportunity.

Why letting go of grudges is important?

After finding my peace, I came to the conclusion that there are several reasons that prove, letting go of grudges is so important:

• When you hold a grudge, you constantly think about the person or situation that caused you harm. It means your mind is constantly occupied and your emotional energy is being wasted. As a result, it prevents you from focusing on other important aspects. Letting go of a grudge allows you to free up that mental and emotional space and enables you to concentrate on other things that are more important in life.
• If you want to reduce your stress and negative emotions and want to experience more positive emotions like forgiveness, compassion, and empathy then you should let go of grudges. Holding onto them can be stressful and can escalate emotions like anger, resentment, and bitterness. These emotions can negatively affect your mental and physical health.
• Holding grudges often affects your relationship not only with the person who is responsible but also with others. Letting go of a grudge can help you move past the negative feelings and work towards building healthier relationships with the people around you.
• Letting go of a grudge enhances your personal growth. It requires significant emotional maturity that develops a greater sense of empathy, forgiveness, and compassion. You learn to let go of negative emotions and move forward in a positive way.

Move on, live in the present and explore the world:

Don’t let negative emotions hold you back from moving forward, learn to live in the present and travelling is one of the best ways to do so. I found exploring the world to be a truly enriching and fulfilling experience. Visiting new places, trying new foods, learning about various cultures, and meeting new people gave me a different perspective on life. This exposure helped me gain a deeper understanding and sense of appreciation.

Encountering people from diverse backgrounds and with different experiences makes you feel more empathic towards others, including those who may have wronged you in the past. It can help you understand that your way of seeing things may not be the only way, instead, there are multiple ways of looking at things and experiences.

Once you see the world in a more positive way and begin to realize that holding onto grudges is a burden that is only hurting you, you lean toward forgiving those who have hurt you. You move forward and start your journey to heal your body, mind, and soul through nature with a renewed sense of purpose and optimism. 

I would highly recommend you read Nikolina J’s article “Traveling helped me belong: A Path to self-discovery” from the May issue. She has shared her experiences, and how travelling helped her to get through her darkest days. Her story is very relatable as we all face the harsh realities of life. It shows that stepping outside of your comfort zone and the experiences gained while exploring new places has the power to bring positive change. It helps to let go of grudges, gain confidence, and build lifelong memories.

Holding on to grudges can damage you in multiple ways. It’s up to you, whether you allow yourself to become a prisoner for life or enjoy freedom. This doesn’t mean that you have to forget what happened in the past, but it does mean that you can choose to release the negative emotions that are holding you back from moving forward. Live in the present, embrace positivity and release resentment.

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About the writer

Fazilat is a wordsmith, enthusiastic researcher, reader, writer, teacher, and avid traveler. She is ardent about promoting positivity and loves to share her experiences to help people live fulfilling lives.

Email: fazilatmubeen@gmail.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fazilat-mubeen-330629249/

Instagram: fazilatmubeen

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