Finding Home in the Unknown: An Immigrant’s Journey to Belonging Again

Immigration is something all immigrants experience differently, but always with underlying similarities. What’s one of the most common ones? The more you stay in a new country, the less you are of your origins. During my first solo trip, in 2018, I experienced a level of happiness and sense of belonging like no other. Read about my epiphany, what triggered it, and how us immigrants can find “home” again. 

By Laura Dolci Travels 

@lauradolcitravels

https://lauradolcitravels.com/

In 2020, the global estimate of international migrants was 281 million – a 3.6% of the global population. There are endless reasons to immigrate, and usually the common denominator is the hope and dream for a better life; whether it’s for career opportunities, lifestyle, escaping war, and so forth. 

My personal reason for moving to the US was my parents’ dream to offer my siblings and me the future opportunities our country, Italy, could never provide. As a family of five, everyone experienced the move differently. However, we all went through the same one thing that most, if not all, immigrants experience: we were slowly stripped of our identity as Italians. We quickly became the “American” friends and family members to our loved ones in Italy – whilst always remaining the “Italian” friends in the US.

Feeling the heaviness of not belonging to a specific geographical place, I embarked on my first solo trip at 19 years old. This was a month-long trip through five European countries: Italy, Sweden, Germany, France, and Portugal. Little did my 19 year-old self know that this would turn out to be a life changing trip, as well as the most important self discovery. Furthermore, little did I know that the catalyst of my epiphany would be a song found at a museum exhibition in Berlin. 

“We’re moving to Modena”, these were the words my dad told my brother and I while we were getting ready for bedtime. Being the first move I’d ever experience, my 7 year-old self could only cry with endless thoughts running through her mind. What does it mean to move cities? What happens to all the people you leave behind – do they all disappear? Will I ever see them again? It’s safe to say these thoughts were running faster than my tears. 

My dad was working in Modena, 3 hours away from my hometown Turin, for many months – meaning we only got to see each other at weekends. Due to this, the thought of our family being fully back together made the idea of moving easier and exciting. Furthermore, learning that I would attend an international school and have the opportunity to make new friendships added even more excitement for the move.

Attending the international school sparked my love for learning about different cultures and languages; it also subconsciously comforted me in knowing almost all students were either immigrants or migrants. In a wholesome way, we all belonged together in a place we transformed in our home. *Que High School Musical* We (were) all in (that) together.

Fast forward 3 years, I’m in the car with my brother on the left and my dad driving us to school. “What do you guys think about moving to America?” After a quick moment of silence to digest the sentence, my brother and I went through polar opposite reactions. My reaction? YES PLEASE! At this age, America seemed like the coolest country in the world and my chance to meet Hannah Montana and Justin Bieber. After leaving my hometown, I quickly grew to love moving, starting over, and not looking back. Due to this, moving to America was the easiest thing for my 12 year-old self. 

We moved to America for three reasons: 

1. My dad’s job. 
2. My parents, already being seasoned immigrants, wanted my siblings and me to experience life abroad and all the important lessons that come with it. In addition to this, my parents also were eager for a new adventure abroad.
3. My parents’ dream of offering my siblings and me the endless opportunities Italy couldn’t – which is a story for another time. I am eternally grateful for my parents’ sacrifices and adventurous spirit.

The first years, I must admit, I loved being the “new Italian girl” and the friend that was cool to have. Especially given the fact that I was not the cool girl, nor cool friend to have, my last years in Italy. However, my years in the US slowly became strips you rip off from my Italian nationality and identity. It appeared that the more I lived in America, the “less Italian” I was considered. 

It wasn’t until senior year of high school, 7 years into living abroad, that this “dilemma” started to weigh heavy on me. I felt lonely and confused – I mean, who was I if I wasn’t Italian enough? What place do I call home? Am I fake for calling myself Italian? 

Through Freshman year of college, the heaviness persisted; I didn’t feel that I could call either place home, as I wasn’t enough of either. 

So what do you do when you need to rediscover yourself? You go on a solo trip to Europe!😂

To be fair, rediscovering myself was not the conscious reasoning behind my solo trip. During my time in the US, I moved twice – to go to a boarding school and then college. With these additional moves, I was used to moving every 4-5 years maximum – causing me to feel anxious at the thought of staying in a place for longer than that. Due to that, I felt a strong urge to go on a solo trip throughout Europe for a reset and to have an empowering adventure.  

The first “unknown” country I was visiting on the solo trip was Sweden, where I visited the beautiful city of Gothenburg. During my week in Gothenburg, I began to experience a blissfulness I had never experienced before – one that can’t be properly expressed through words. In Gothenburg I was able to see Swedish friends, and while that made me incredibly happy, along with traveling to a new country, there was something more to this blissfulness.

It wouldn’t be until June 15, when I could finally put my finger on what was causing such extreme levels of happiness and fulfillment. What happened June 15th, 2018? I went to the Wanderlust Exhibition in Berlin, Germany. 

Throughout the visit of the exhibition, I was surrounded by endless, beautiful works of art showcasing wanderers, their adventures, and surroundings. I felt a sense of belonging in this exhibition – almost like everyone painted was part of the “traveler community” with me. We all belonged to no specific place, so we belonged together. 

Towards the end of the exhibition, there was a room with a small TV showing a video, paintings, and a glass-covered case protecting text. Soon enough, I realized I was watching a music video and the text within the glass-case was the lyrics of the music. The animated video showed a warrior girl walking around through nature with various beasts. The song of the music video was “Wanderlust” by Björk. 

As I read these lyrics, I quickly realized they were expressing everything I had felt throughout all the past years – but couldn’t understand. Here are the specific lyrics: 

“I have lost my origin

And I don’t want to find it again…

I feel at home

Whenever the unknown surrounds me

I receive its embrace

Aboard my floating house”

After reading these lyrics over and over again, I finally understood where this newfound bliss during my solo trip came from. The bliss came from feeling at home as I was surrounded by the unknown – because, the unknown is my geographical home. 

I found endless comfort in realizing that I have a floating house and don’t need to be tied to a geographical place or culture; as the song says, “I have lost my origin and I don’t want to find it again”.

Belonging, “feeling of security and support when there is a sense of acceptance, inclusion, and identity for a member of a certain group” (Cornell). When you take a step back and dissect the meaning of “belonging”, you realize that it is a sensation of acceptance and inclusion. You don’t need something tangible to belong. 

There are over 281 million immigrants around the globe; while we may not know each other, that is a community that we belong to. Even though it’s easy to feel isolated, we are never alone in our struggles and complexities of being immigrants. 

I recognize it’s easier said than done to feel this way, but with our superpower as multicultural individuals, we are always home. We know how to adapt, make new places our home, we have a global mindset, we have a cultural “switch” and so on.

I’d like to end on this note: As immigrants, we need be proud of our multicultiralism and our ability to move away from everything we know and make the unknown our home. Even though it’s easy to feel “less than” when living in a new country, we need to recognize that being multicultural is nothing short of a SUPERPOWER. Whether it’s people from your native country, or those in your new country, don’t ever let them make you feel “less than”. 

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“About me” 

Due to this, I feel at home when surrounded by the unknown and have a strong passion for diving deep into different cultures and learning languages (I am a polyglot). 

My mission with my blog is to help you Travel Deeper through Hidden Gems. Check out my blog or Instagram to discover all the hidden gems I’ve shared, along with thorough itineraries, and more!

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