My experience with feeling detached from “home” is that it ebbs and flows. I don’t constantly feel homesick, but now and again, I feel out of sorts and realise that I’m experiencing a disconnect from the place I’m physically in or the people around me. This can be brought on by anything really, from language barriers to additional stress to prolonged periods in a city (I’m from the countryside originally). I’ve spent a lot of time exploring different ways that I can cultivate a sense of home away from home. Here is everything you need to know about how to reconnect with home from afar.
By Jessica Holmes
We’ve all felt homesick at one time or another. That longing to be back in a familiar place with friends, family or a beloved pet. You may feel it fleetingly over a short holiday, but if you travel more frequently or long-term like I do, this feeling can grow until it begins to overwhelm you.
Travelling full-time is not easy. I do it because I love it, because of the freedom it gives me and the abundance of amazing opportunities that come with it. But of course, there are sacrifices. The biggest one for me is the disconnect I feel with home. I miss my friends and family, and no amount of video calls or messaging can recreate that feeling of being around them. I also miss the landscape, the weather and the seasons.
Being homesick is a subject that feels a little taboo in the travel world, as feeling lonely and isolated whilst “living your best life” is not something that will encourage others to travel or promote your status on social media. You may think that you’re the only traveller feeling this way, but I promise you that you aren’t alone. Home means something different to everyone, and no matter how nomadic you become, there’s always a place, a person or a feeling that you think of as “home”.
When you’re feeling this way, you may be tempted to message a friend, video call a family member or scroll endlessly through social media in an attempt to reconnect with those people you’re missing, but the distance may only become more amplified through these methods of communication, as you are reminded of events or daily life that you are missing out on. This can solidify emotions such as sadness, isolation and separation, and make you feel worse. Like with anything difficult, the best thing to do is to focus on the thing that is causing us pain; avoiding it or burying our heads in the sand will only exacerbate feelings of isolation.
Since becoming a full-time traveller—to preserve my mental health and ensure I am filling up my heart and soul with joy—I’ve had to come up with some new ways to reconnect with home, even when I’m not physically there.
Food
Probably one of the quickest ways to feel as though you are at home is to reconnect with traditional food from your home country. Look for a local restaurant that specialises in your home country’s cuisine or, to really reconnect, you could cook a dish that you love eating at home. To make it really special, you could ask a family member or friend for that secret recipe of theirs and video call them whilst making it, with them doing the same or walking you through it. It’s really important that you engage all of your senses whilst you are doing this—touch the ingredients, smell the aromas, listen to the sound of the dish cooking, see the dish once you’ve completed it and finally bask in the taste of the food. Allow it to take you to a different place entirely.
Literature
Look for books written about your home country, city, town or village. As soon as you open the pages and begin to read, the book will evoke imagery and memories within you that you thought were completely out of reach. Allow these memories to carry you to a place of happiness. You’ll find yourself thinking things like: “Yes, I know exactly where that place is” or “I couldn’t have described that place better myself”. Reading literature about your home is also an interesting way of reframing it entirely, as you will be seeing it through someone else’s eyes. A good book that sets the scene well can often enable us to travel through space and time; allow this one to take you home for a while.
Scents
It is well-known that scents have the power to make us feel as though we have been physically transported to specific places, people or memories. Think about the smells that do this for you. It could be the perfume that your best friend wears. Go into a cosmetics shop and spray it all over you. Perhaps it’s the fabric conditioner that your mum uses. Ask her to send you a picture of it and try sourcing the same thing for you to wash all your clothes in. I have a roll-on bottle of essential oils that a friend in Albania made and gifted me during a difficult time of my life. When I’m feeling lonely, I roll it onto my wrists and inhale deeply. Breathe in the scents as much as you can, allowing them to permeate your skin, enter your cells, fill you up. You’ll feel more grounded and reconnected at once.
Seasons
Think of what the seasons are doing at home. Perhaps you are on the other side of the world from your home and where you are is winter but at home it would be summer. Visualise how the environment would look, what colour the trees would be, what flowers would be dotted around. See if you can source a bunch of a particular flower from that season at home and put them in the space you’re currently occupying, somewhere you will see them frequently. Look through your camera roll for a photo of a landscape near home during this specific season, perhaps print it out or have a go at painting or drawing it, remembering the way the scene looked on that day and transporting yourself into that environment.
Music
Look for live music events nearby of a certain genre or band that remind you of home. If you can’t find anything live, listen to music via your phone. Searching for a band that originates where you are from—even the same country—will allow you to reconnect with a place. As an example of this, in Ed Sheeran’s song “Castle on the Hill”, the line “I still remember these old country lanes” instantly makes me think, both longingly and joyfully, of the countryside where I’m from in England. As well as lyrics, the timbre of the voices and the instruments being played can surround you in the feeling of a place.
Events
What events are being celebrated at home? Is there a national day that you’d usually mark and join in celebrations for? This could be something big like Christmas if you are in a country that doesn’t mark the occasion, or something like Burns Night or Australia Day, which are very country-specific celebrations. Perhaps you and your bestie always watch Eurovision or the Oscars together. Whatever it is, make the time and effort to create your own festivities wherever you are, as big or small as you’d like. In doing this, you’ll be honouring tradition whilst acknowledging that things are different this year. Perhaps you could get the hostel you’re staying at involved in the celebration or actively look for events on an app like Meetup, where you may find some kindred spirits from your home place to spend the occasion with. By encouraging yourself to mark the occasion, you’ll feel more of a connection with home than letting it pass by without recognition.
Invite people to visit you
You may be travelling long-term, but what’s to stop friends and family joining you for a week? There’s not much better than an in-person catch-up to get you to feel reconnected with home. For weeks or months prior to the visit, you will be excited and looking forward to your plans, and the memories that you make whilst they are visiting will bring you enough joy and warmth to keep you company for a long time after they’ve departed.
Hopefully, thinking about reconnecting with home in these alternative ways has provided you with some inspiration on what to do when you next begin to feel those pangs of longing for home. Jumping onto a video call is great, but sometimes it is not enough to fill our heart and soul with a sense of connection and love.
Taking action in order to self-soothe in times of hardship is vital to ensuring that we can best look after ourselves when we are on the road. Remember that that road is full of bumps and potholes; you don’t have to be constantly happy to be “living your best life”, and feeling homesick, lonely or isolated is completely normal.
Now you have the tools you need to “visit home” whenever you need to.
About the author:
Jessica Holmes travels the world full-time looking after peoples’ homes and pets through housesitting. She is a writer, yoga lover and eco-traveller. Her book The Housesitter’s Guide to the Galaxy can be ordered here. Her blog www.hitchedandhiking.com documents her travels and housesitting escapades. Follow her on Instragram for travel tips and cute pictures of pets.
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March/April 2024 | Life Lovers Magazine.
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