Home is NOT where the heart is

Feeling at home is something that we all crave, no matter where we are in the world. And yet, it can be challenging to find that sense of belonging, especially in unfamiliar surroundings. But it’s important to remember that the feeling of home isn’t just about the place or the people that surround us, but about being comfortable with yourself, in your own skin, and in your circumstances. And with a little bit of effort and the right mindset, it’s possible to feel at home wherever and whenever you are, because you’re your own home. So, whether you’re exploring new places or settling into a new city, remember that the feeling of home is within you, and with these five simple steps, you can make any place feel like home.

By Little Chilean

@gaby.o

Yesterday, I stumbled upon Jamie Kern Lima’s (@jamiekernlima) new book, Worthy. This phrase popped out and got stuck in my head: “And there’s no greater feeling of home than living in alignment and congruence with your soul.”

As a traveler living away from my home for eight years now, I’ve had the chance of changing the place I call home many times. And even though I always end up feeling highly comfortable wherever I get to call home, the changes and the process of getting to that point have not always been smooth or as quick as I would like them to be. 

Even more, sometimes a place you have called home can stop feeling like one, due to many external factors. In my case, just around the same time I bumped into that mentioned quote, I saw myself living a new wave of homesickness and feeling out of place, even though I’ve lived in the same city for three years now.

Different life scenarios made me change a few things in my life, as work changes, visas, people moving, and breakups can easily do. And that was my case; even though I’ve arrived at a place where I felt really at home, I broke up a relationship and moved away from our shared apartment. And even though I’m content with the decision, and I’m aware it was the right thing for us both, the routine had greatly changed and it was feeling a bit heavy to get accustomed to it again.

All of this has shown me that the feeling of home will never really be linked to a place or an external person, but to how comfortable you are with yourself, in your own skin, and with your circumstances. Because the truth is that you could be back home, or be in a foreign country completely alone without even mastering the language, and you could still feel more “at home” in the second one. Even though it may seem impossible.

And this is only possible when we feel at home with ourselves and our soul is aligned. And to achieve this, we need to do a bit of work on ourselves. So, hoping it helps you the same way it helped me to get back to the “home sweet home” feel, here is a sort of checklist or steps we all need to follow wherever we are that will help you stay connected with yourself. Here we go!

6 steps to feel at home with yourself wherever you are:

1. Set up expectations. 

It’s crucial to be aware of your expectations and adapt them to your current situation. This is an opportunity to challenge yourself and grow. You can lower your expectations when you arrive in a new place or raise them to reach for the stars. The important thing is to understand your expectations deeply so that you can listen to your feelings and discover what your heart truly desires. Once you do that, you can embrace each new experience with open arms, knowing that it has its unique qualities that make it special. Remember, life is full of surprises, and each experience is a new chapter in your book. So, be bold, take risks, and enjoy the journey!

2. Nurture routines that can travel with you. 

To maintain balance and stability when adjusting to a new environment, nurture routines that can travel with you. Whether it’s yoga, running, or meditation, find ways to restart these habits in your new place. Prioritizing your well-being and making time for the things that matter most to you can help you create a satisfying and fulfilling life, no matter where your journey takes you.

3. Have a safety circle. 

One of the greatest joys of traveling is meeting new people, making connections, and building a circle of friends. This network of individuals is not only a source of comfort, but also a valuable tool to help you navigate the ups and downs of the travel experience. From overcoming challenges to celebrating triumphs, having people around you can provide a steady and reassuring presence. So don’t be afraid to open yourself up to new friendships as you embark on your next adventure; the connections you make along the way may just be the key to a fulfilling and unforgettable journey.

Side note: when arriving at a new place, I’ve discovered that using the BFF section of the dating app Bumble is a great way to meet new friends who love traveling as much as you do.

4. Gratitude journal

Every day is a new opportunity to live your life to the fullest. Whether you’re exploring a new city or simply going about your daily routine, there are countless things to be grateful for. From the awe-inspiring landmarks that surround us to the simple pleasures of a relaxing rest or drinks with friends, every moment is a chance to appreciate the beauty of life. It’s easy to forget about these things or to take them for granted, but by staying mindful and appreciative, we can find inspiration and joy in even the smallest moments. So take a deep breath, look around you, and embrace all the wonderful things this day has to offer. You’ve got 24 hours to make the most of it – let’s make them count!

5. Feed your mind and curiosity. 

Allow yourself to be curious and open to new experiences. Even if you’ve lived in a place for a long time, there is always something new to discover and to be fascinated by. Take a chance on exploring uncharted territory: try out a new restaurant, hike up a scenic hilltop, meet someone new, and witness the possibilities unfold before you in a never-ending stream of amazement.

Keeping your mind engaged and content is the best way to prevent overthinking, which can lead to feelings of homesickness.

6. Make your home a home

Whether you live in a shared space or a huge condo, it’s important to add things to your routine at home that make your space feel comfortable and cozy. You can try buying a special pillow, add scents, display photos of loved ones, or simply get a comfortable pair of loafers for your feet. There are plenty of ways to make your home a more welcoming place, and you’ll enjoy the process of creating your own personal sanctuary.

And there you have it, my unfailing 6-step checklist for feeling at home, even if you just moved into a new place. Have you tried them? Any new ideas I should add? I would love to hear them!

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